If you go down to the woods to day........ (Clean)
The SAS, the Parachute Regiment and the Police decide to go on a survival weekend together to see who comes out on top. After some basic exercises the directing staff tell them that their next objective is to go down into the woods and catch a rabbit, returning with it ready to skin and cook. Night falls.....
First up - the SAS. They don infrared goggles, drop to the ground and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5 minutes, followed by the unmistakable muffled "phut-phut" of their trademark silenced "double-tap". They emerge with a large rabbit shot cleanly between the eyes.
"Excellent!" remarks one of the instructors.
Next up - the Para 's. They finish their cans of lager, smear themselves with camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into the woods, screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the woods ring with the sound of rifle and machine-gun fire, hand grenades, mortar bombs and blood curdling war cries. Eventually they emerge, carrying the charred remains of a rabbit.
"A bit messy, but you achieved the aim; good effort", says the instructor.
Lastly, in go the Coppers, walking slowly, hands behind backs whistling Dixon of Dock Green. For the next few hours, the silence is only broken by the occasional crackle of a walkie-talkie "Sierra Lima Whisky Tango Fanta One, suspect headed straight for you..." etc. After what seems an eternity, they emerge escorting a squirrel in handcuffs.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?" asks the course director, "Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit like I asked you five hours ago!".
So back they go. Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours, night drags on and turns to day. The next morning, the trainer and the other teams are awakened by the police, holding the handcuffed squirrel, now covered in bruises, one eye nearly shut.
"Are you taking the p*ss!!??" asks the now seriously irate instructor.
The police team leader nudges the squirrel, who squeaks:
"Alright, alright, I'm a f*ckin' rabbit!"
Spider1V - have a great weekend all! 8) :lol:
does this mean that we should have more faith in the SAS and the Para's than the Police? Or is the implication that the Police are stupid and brutal?
OK so I don't like your joke and I am not a Policeman but I would just point out that all three do the bidding of our Political masters, the fact that the Police do not do it as well as they would like gives me a glimmer of hope in our neo-totalitarian society.
keep smiling, you don't know who's watching
[
Actually I DO know who is watching AND listening.....
Spider1V
Damn :shock: and i though my camoflage was working really well. :wink:
I told a car with three RUC men in it, (well actually i told the joke to the bloke IN the car)
the joke about why the Russian Secret police go around in three'ziz
One can read
One can write
Then you need another one to guard two such dangerous intellectuals.
There comments shall go unrecorded.
JOIN THE GWOA
This website and forum are provided for the benefit of enthusiasts and owners of all Mercedes Benz off road vehicles, in particular the G Wagen. The costs of development, upkeep and provision of the site are met entirely by the annual subscriptions of club members. If you are using the site and are not a member of the G Wagen Owners Association please consider joining. You will have access to areas on the site that are not open to non members, to club trips and meetings and to technical assistance. In addition your contribution (only £25 annually) will help us maintain and develop our website for future users.
Who's new
- Jaffa_JIM_23
- Wrabstar
- GG
- KTMSCANIA22
- 280ge
Nope it was a joke
Fair and just personal comment, although I do have very good friends that are working 'Doing the bidding of our political masters' and they thought it was rather funny.
Actually I DO know who is watching AND listening.....
Spider1V