Another joke :)
A sausage factory owner has a really dim son and one day he bought his son to visit his factory.
'Look son, if I put a pig at this end of the machine then ten minutes later a pack of sausages will come out from the other end.' The man said to his son.
The son replied 'Dad, if we put a pack of sausages into the other end, would a pig come out from this end?'
The man said, 'I put a sausage into your mum 18 years ago and now I have a big fat stupid pig!'
:) :) :D
This one is a bit dirty... so please be aware!
A mortally obese man saw an advertisement for loosing weight while he was waking on the street. It read, '£300!! You will loose at least 20lbs by the end of this 3 days course, otherwise you can have your money back!!!'
So he thought... '£300 is a bit expensive, but if i sign up and do nothing... I can have my money back anyway, at least I will know what the deal is! WHY NOT!!'
He went into the health shop and signed up.
The first day,
The receptionist bought the fat man into a large room, he saw a beautiful naked lady standing in the middle of the room... and she had a sign hanging in front of her chest saying 'If you caught me, you can do it 3 times.'
The fat man wondered and asked, 'Is it for real??'
The naked lady said, ' For sure!'
Then the fat man started chasing the girl around the room... A few hours later, he came out exhausted but with a victorious smile on his face. He weighted himself and found he has lost 7lbs.
The second day,
The receptionist leaded the fat man into a even bigger room, and there is a even more attractive naked lady standing in the middle, who has a sign in front of her chest saying 'If you caught me, you can do it 5 times.'
This time the fat man did not say anything but stripped himself so very quickly and started chasing the lady around...
A few hours late... he came out exhausted again with a even better smile on his face. He then weighted himself and found he has lost.... 9 POUNDS!!!
He thought... 'No matter who's in the room tomorrow, I am not going to move!!'
The third day,
The receptionist bought him into a extremely small room... there was nothing in there. Then the side door opened and a super ugly ape like fat woman came out, who has a sign hanging in front of chest saying 'If you get caught, do it 10 time.'
One could only hear the fat man shouted for help and the laughter of the ape like woman...
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here is another one...
Mr. A said to Mr. B, 'Would you imagine one day when you leave the office building, and it was raining... your boss saw you standing outside, he opened his umbrella and said 'would you like to get under my umbrella?"
Mr. B said, 'Hmm... it's not that much of a big deal really.'
Then A said, 'It's not the end yet... then the boss said, 'My new sports car is only parked two blocks away, would you like a lift home? You can just wait here while I go and get it"
B, '......'
Mr. A continues, 'Then the boss not only gave you a lift home, but he also offered you a meal out and bought you some new cloths because your old ones got soaked by the rain.'
Mr. B said, 'Whaaaaaat?? Would this really happen in this world??'
Mr. A said, 'Yes, it happened to my sister on the other day!'