G Fever - Have you got it?

4 replies [Last post]
Spider1V's picture
Joined: 21.10.2007
Location: Beaconsfield, Bucks
GWOA Groups: Members
G Fever - A real Medical Condition!
Quickening of the heart rate when seeing a G
Bulging pockets of money
The need for instant gratification
Partial blindness/ tunnel Vision
Partial deafness.
I am Dr. Spider1V, und I haff been doing a study into zis malady zat is slowly becoming a pandemic within zee G Vorld. It has a detrimental effect on a number of things, und can lead to a number of very serious problems! Ze greatest von is rapid depletion of both patience und capital und ze growth off frustration und embarrassment. Zo, how do I know if I have zis illness? Vell it is very simple ask yourself ze following:
1. Ven I see a G Wagen vhat happens? is it:
a) I Ignore it, because I have vone already?
b) Nothzing
c) I zink 'Vow zat is und magnificent auotmobile - I Vant Von! I vant von now!'
d) Acht - I can get a Landrover for less
If it is answer C - zen you have the beginning early symptoms starting (phase 1). If after ziss, it is und case of looking on ze internet. Zo you use your search engine to look up, und you have a number of valuable information, but mostly you have loads of ebay, classic cars etc for sale, all of zem vaffling on about haw magnificent zey are, capable etc etc, zis is vhen ze secund symptom comes... zee partial blindness und deaf ness starts creeping in. You notice zee prices are zeparated, zey are either very expensive or very cheap, but you think , I vill establish a budget und get zee best I can for zee price.
Ziss is is now moving into what we call Phase II.
At zis point it is still possible to protect yourself with some simple procedures! Ve like to call it 'Research' . Vith da 'Research' you can protect yourself almost to 100% protection from ze G Fever. Like having a von nicht stand, using a condom can protect your life! Vith zhis 'research' you can come along und find many many good interveb sites zat can help. Zey can provide tips und tricks that will reduce your chances of buying und 'Mobile money pit' - vitch, I am sad to say is happening more und more, as zee number of people vanting G's exceeds zee actual number of G around.
Zee 'parasite' is von of zee most lethal virus you can get - typically it vill lead to a very expensive course of treatment zat will leave you drained (fiscally) und angry. I cannot STRESS enough - zee only way to combat ziss is to use 'Research' und ask many, many , many questions. Like any Virus zey vill latch on to you und bleed you dry! You vill zen suffer from: loss of money, huge embarrassment und lose you love of G Vagens!
If zhis is the case, you now move into Phase III. At Ziss point, you vill haff lost almost everything! Zee chances of getting back your money is virtually Zero, und you vill end up putting another G back in to circulation  zhat vill perpetuate more frustration for future members. Zo I vould offer ze following advice from zomeone who has seen zee horror zat G Fever vill bring und ze aftermath:.
1, If you are at Phase 1 - Please please, please come on ziss forum und ask , ask, ask as many questions. Get zee VIN number und ask ze Parts Committee Member Gav Helme to run a check on zee History.
2. Pay for some 'Anti Virus/Parasite' Protection und join ze GWOA  - for £25 you can almost get immunity from zee G Fever, if you follow zee advice given
3. Use zee 'research' in conjunction vith the GWOA und you have zee most powerful medicine against 'G Fever' possible!
4. If it is your first time with a G - see if you can get an experienced member to take a look at zee G with you. Ziss form of protection generally vill cost you either a contribution in petrol or a nice 'Pie und Pint' while you are thinking of what you have seen!
5. IF YOU RECEIVE A PM/EMAIL from someone pertaining to be a 'Professional' offering you something that is too good to be true - USE ZISS FORUM TO 'RESEARCH' that contact!!!!!!! Post up saying I haff been contacted by {Enter name} - Can I get other member thoughts' Ziss one little Post can go on to save you from lossing many many Money, and could end up saving you a trip to court!
Und finally - please remember the member here on the GWOA, vant you to enjoy the G Vagen as much as you can, ve do not vant you to be von off those people caught out, at ze end of the day - it will be your choice und you a free to make that choice despite vot ve say, however please unterstand, ve haff no cure once you have let the G Fever get to Phase III, other zhan ' Sorry to hear zat'
Dr. Spider1V
​P.s - This is Joe here, I put up this post as it is believed that we have a number of 'parasites' back on the forum, and hopefully new member, casual readers or people using the GWOA will appreciate the humor, but also pick up on the seriousness of what is being said in mirth. The GWOA have decided to keep the forum open, as it fits the ethos of the members, in offering helpful and honest advice, its just a shame that there are such underhand 'parasites' out there that will happily use this forum to groom you and then take your money and leave you with a 'pig in a poke'. 


markhowes's picture
Joined: 15.01.2014
GWOA Groups: Members
Re: G Fever - Have you got it?

I don't understand it - I tried right clicking on the page (as someone else suggested once) to translate into English.

But nothing happened.

derekfinn's picture
Joined: 18.06.2012
Location: Waterford, Ireland.
GWOA Groups: Members
Re: G Fever - Have you got it?

Great piece of editorial from da Spider. (must have lots of time on his hands !!) The 'frauline' left me a couple of years ago because of the G Fever. She said I paid more attention to my G than to her. Eventually, she ran off with the builder who she wanted me to pay to put in a new kitchen and sell my G to pay for it. It didn't bother me then and still doesn't. A good G is probably more reliable. If it makes you feel good - then have more of it.

On a serious note - I concur fully with Herr Spider - newbies beware when buying a G. Easy to loose a lot of cash quick on unsolicited professionals that readily access this forum for new business. Its probably the worst aspect of using this forum.

When its too good to be true - walk away.

Mind yourself.


Norfolk66's picture
Joined: 17.07.2013
Location: North Norfolk
GWOA Groups: Members
Re: G Fever - Have you got it?

Dr Spider1V,

When 'B' G fever kicks in past phase 3 it truly effects you in a big big way and takes over you whole body.....


When ever I have bought my G's (now on 3rd) I have always been wary of men in white suitssurprise

But must admit was caught with one G purchase...1 out of 3 isn't too bad.

Alas you are very much correct with your advice for new naive virgin purchasers as the bullion is becoming such a rare commodity that more often than not the seller will far over estimate the goods worth and paint a wonderful picture that even a condom of super strength could not protect against !

Unfortunately, it is not possible for some perspective purchases to do the full Miss Marple on their new prospective purchase once the early signs of G fever kicks in.

Additionally, some new purchasers may feel embarrassed to publically be asking for advice on any purchase.

Perhaps to protect new purchasers and ultimately new members couldn't the GWOA offer a service whereby they state :-

The VIN and Reg of the G they are looking to purchase.

·         The mileage and service history

·         The Mot and Tax

·         The asking price

GWOA then privately reply (a panel of you all)

·         What you know about the G

·         Previous History

·         What to look out for

·         And why and what you think a fair price to pay would be?

Just a thought as you can lead a horse to water but………………..

Ps. When will we see Joes 2nd audition on BGT?






mark's picture
Joined: 06.11.2003
Location: England
GWOA Groups: Committee, Members
Re: G Fever - Have you got it?

Spider1V has requested this thread be locked, so not to detract from his original message.

You are of course most welcome to start your own post/thread to discuss anything concerning this thread.